Blah

I've been having a hard time this week with health issues and it's really gotten me down. I haven't been exercising like I should (mostly because the gym is closed this week and I don't really like going to other places and doing other things - I'm a creature of habit). According to my doctor's info, I'm still gaining weight. My scale goes up and down, but it seems to be settling on the lower numbers.

I'm now on Thyroid medication, as well as an increase in my Cymbalta to help with the Lupus symptoms. I'm starting to feel better mentally, so I think I'll be back on track come Monday. School starts and my routine will be more set.

Bodybugg

So, I got my Bodybugg, and I'm not sure that I like it. It's supposed to be SO accurate, but really, there is no way that I burned upwards of 900 calories mowing the lawn. I wish, but no.

I feel like now is not the right time to try to use this thing. I want to stick with the plan that I'm doing right now. Maybe later, when I hit a plateau or something, I could use it, but for now, I don't think so.

I might even just put it up on ebay and resell it. I dunno.

Cheat Day

Not as easy as I thought it would be. Let me tell you why. I already had dinner planned - pork chops, baked beans, and crescent rolls, so I knew I was looking at a decent amount of calories there.

I wanted to get Starbucks, but then David suggested Dunkin Donuts. Well, I started looking up their caloric info - couldn't find much on the drinks that was accurate. So, I got a low fat muffin and I made my wonderful homemade coconut iced coffee.

I felt guilty all day long when I ate stuff I knew I shouldn't, even though I knew that I was supposed to do.

But, the s'mores I had were really fucking tasty :)

Saturday..one more day....

Cheat day is tomorrow - I'm so excited :) I've actually pre-planned the day. I was told to eat approx 500 to 1,000 calories more than I normally do, so I'm definitely not going to work out, or I'll be eating constantly (or eating a pint of ice cream to catch up, which I don't want to do).

I'm definitely treating myself to some Starbucks tomorrow morning. Pork chops, baked beans, and crescent rolls for dinner with s'mores for dessert. That will still give me plenty of calories to play with during the day for the other meals.

But, today, I need to stay focused! I've already done my workout (I tend to go as soon as I wake up). Breakfast is done, dinner and lunch are planned. Baked salmon with brown rice and steamed broccoli/cauliflower for dinner (yum!!!). Lunch will probably be an egg scramble again. I was going to have a salad with tuna, but then realized we're having salmon for dinner, so I didn't want to get fished out.

Now, it's off to the store for healthy stuff (and s'mores fixins for tomorrow night)

Fantastic Friday

So I'm down about 4 pounds so far. Awesome!

I do have a cheat day coming up on Sunday, so I can kill those cravings then, I think. I only feel the cravings at night, so hopefully, I can keep myself busy and not give into them. I did not give in last night!!

I feel really good. I have dinner in the crock pot tonight - chicken breasts with balsamic vinegar, onions, and artichoke hearts. Will make brown rice and steam some broccoli and cauliflower to go with it. Looking forward to it.

My gym is closed for a week starting on Monday. I'm not pleased. I know the room there, the machines, the staff. I'm going to end up going to one of the other gyms. I will be at the beach next weekend, so I hope I have my Bodybugg by then, so I can do some sand running or something and know how many calories I burned!!!

Argh!!!!

I want a big fucking bowl of Golden Grahams.

Or 2.

I won't eat them, of course, but god DAMN I could eat the hell out of some cereal right now.

What did Cathy eat today?

Who cares?

I do, so suck it.

Oatmeal w/raisins for breakfast (Coffee with almond milk, too)
3 egg white scramble with mushrooms & red bell peppers and turkey bacon.
Taco Salad - 4oz taco meat (made with lean ground turkey) on 2 cups of spring mix with cherry tomatoes and a cup of brown rice. I haven't actually eaten dinner yet, but this is the plan.

Snacks:
Granola bars
Light Yogurt
Mixed nuts

Exercised 55 minutes 3.1mph on random incline on the treadmill, burning 606 calories.

Some Background and "The Plan"

I'm 39 years old. I refuse to weigh upwards of 200 pounds when I turn 40 in April. I have 3 children (I can only blame the one biological child for any of my weight gain, but he's almost 10 years old, so who am I kidding, seriously?) I have been married for 14 years this December to a man who loves my big ass and tells me that on a regular basis :)

I used to work full time as a restaurant manager, but I retired back in March. To counterbalance in the lack of exercise that I wouldn't be doing (walking around the restaurant constantly, and lifting heavy items), I decided to get serious about going to the gym.

In the 3 months that I have been going regularly to the gym, I have lost no weight. I have actually gained 6 pounds. What the hell? Went to my doctor to see if my thyroid is out of whack, but in the meantime, I decided that this is it. I have to do something. My biggest fear in the world is dying, yet I live everyday doing things that are going to kill me - not exercising - watching TV - eating like shit. So that's it. I'm done.

But what do I do? Weight Watchers? Fad diets? Starve myself? I bought a book called Lose It! and as I was devouring it (I read it in one day), I thought to myself, "Who do I know that is my age and is in great shape?" I'm not taking advice from some 20 year old with the metabolism of a small rodent. My thoughts immediately went to my friend, Jeff, who has a fantastic physique, yet I know for a fact that the man eats pancakes. So, I reached out to him to see if he would help me.

Thankfully, he seemed happy to help. He sent me a long email with a ton of ideas on how to change what and when I eat. Eat small meals every two hours. No sugar, no refined foods, extremely little dairy. Lean meats & veggies, whole grains. You know, what you're SUPPOSED to eat.

I guess that's it - I'm going to give it my best shot and see what happens...of course, I've lost 2 pounds already, so I'm pretty damned motivated to keep going!!!!

Fat Fat Fat

Yeah, so, I'm fat. Not like "oh, I need to lose a few pounds" - I'm talking Orca fat. Hey, at least I'm in proportion so I don't LOOK as fat as I am right? Sure, that's always nice (I don't have a strange build, or hold weight in weird places - I'm very hourglass), but how about I'm not fat in the first place?

I wasn't always fat. Not until I hit about 16 or so. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was denied sugar as a kid - I totally understand why my parents did it (severe hyperactivity), but it really screwed up how I looked at sweets. Once I would get my hands on them, I would eat them until I felt sick.

I can still down a pint of ice cream in a sitting. I have a wonderful husband, who loves how I look, so that's always been an excuse not to really lose weight. He loves it, so what's the problem?

Well, there are a lot of problems. I am barely 5'5" and I weigh upwards of 220 pounds right now. At my heaviest, I was 245, so I have made some progress in life, but I've had some seriously backslides.

Recently, I went to my doctor and she informed me that at my last check up, in March of 2010, I weighed 195 pounds. Damn. I've gained almost 30 pounds back. I was so happy when I could buy clothes in the normal sections of stores and now I'm back to having no pants that fit me nicely at all.

So...this is my story. It's not original. I don't have anything really awesome to say, except that I want to put it out there publicly, for the first time, that I'm tired of being fat. I'm going to do something about it.