Yeah, so, I'm fat. Not like "oh, I need to lose a few pounds" - I'm talking Orca fat. Hey, at least I'm in proportion so I don't LOOK as fat as I am right? Sure, that's always nice (I don't have a strange build, or hold weight in weird places - I'm very hourglass), but how about I'm not fat in the first place?
I wasn't always fat. Not until I hit about 16 or so. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was denied sugar as a kid - I totally understand why my parents did it (severe hyperactivity), but it really screwed up how I looked at sweets. Once I would get my hands on them, I would eat them until I felt sick.
I can still down a pint of ice cream in a sitting. I have a wonderful husband, who loves how I look, so that's always been an excuse not to really lose weight. He loves it, so what's the problem?
Well, there are a lot of problems. I am barely 5'5" and I weigh upwards of 220 pounds right now. At my heaviest, I was 245, so I have made some progress in life, but I've had some seriously backslides.
Recently, I went to my doctor and she informed me that at my last check up, in March of 2010, I weighed 195 pounds. Damn. I've gained almost 30 pounds back. I was so happy when I could buy clothes in the normal sections of stores and now I'm back to having no pants that fit me nicely at all.
So...this is my story. It's not original. I don't have anything really awesome to say, except that I want to put it out there publicly, for the first time, that I'm tired of being fat. I'm going to do something about it.
I usually don't read blogs, I'll make an exception for you! I have faith in you Cathy. Anything you put your mind to, YOU CAN DO IT! I do want to say my mother used weight watchers and loved it and saw amazing results. It teaches you how to eat regular foods, the right way. She ate whatever she wanted but could not exceed a certain point value everyday. She's no longer a member but continues to use her "point" system everyday ( you're allowed to keep all the reading materials and stuff they give you). Btw, twizzlers and "smart pop" popcorn are considered zero points and are her new favorite snacks. So I'd recommend weight watchers rather than a diet pill or nutrasystem foods because they don't teach you how to balance yourself( if that makes sence ) and as soon as you stop those programs, the weight comes back. Good luck and keep going strong! I, ANDREW KAPANOSKE, AM A BELIEVER!
ReplyDeleteI've been having these exact same thoughts lately. I GAINED weight after giving birth and now am at my heaviest weight ever, highest BMI, etc. I was actually looking into weight loss surgery because I have insulin resistance now and I am TERRIFIED. I've always been fat, always struggled to lose weight, and have never in my adult life weight under 200 lbs. One of the things I'm doing instead of that Macbook pro I just returned is buying a good elliptical. As for food, I don't know. I get into "starve myself" binges (because I already eat good foods, just too much of it), and they last for like a day or two and then I convince myself that it's stupid, not worth it, hubby loves me anyway, etc. So hopefully you can help to motivate me. :)
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